Dread Pirate Alice

I don't know if you're brilliant or twisted

3,599 notes

bluetoothtoaster:

Fandom Yarn Giveaway!

To preview my upcoming shop update on etsy, I’m going to do a little giveaway!

The WINNER will be able to choose one of the following:

1) Doctor Who Mini-Skein Pack containing five 10g (40yd) skeins in You Sexy Thing, Sonic Screwdriver, Time Vortex I, Time Vortex II, and Bowties are Cool.
2) Sherlock Holmes Mini-Skein Pack containing five 10g (40yd) skeins in A Study in Scarlet, The Sign of Four, A Scandal in Bohemia, The Final Problem, and 221b Baker Street.
3) Hunger Games Mini-Skein Pack containing five 10g (40yd) skeins in Katniss Everdeen,  Gale Hawthorne, Primrose Everdeen, The Girl on Fire, and Peeta Mellark.
4) One 50g (200 yd) skein in Sarah Jane Smith
5) One 50g (200 yd) skein in Rowena Ravenclaw

(Whatever isn’t chosen will go up in my etsy shop soon after, so be sure to keep your eye out!)

All yarn is hand-dyed by myself on a sturdy 75% wool, 25% nylon sock-weight base. The yarn is superwash, but minimal bleeding is possible due to the hand-dyed nature of the yarn, so caution is urged when washing. All dyes are food-safe ;-)

Unfortunately, there are RULES:
-I’ll ship anywhere in the world.
-must REBLOG to enter, likes don’t count
-but no more than five (5) reblogs, more will get you disqualified.
-you don’t have to be following me :-) but feel free to if you want information on future shop updates!
-you should have your ask box open so I can contact you! If the winner doesn’t respond within 48 hours of notification, another winner will be chosen.
-contest ends at 11:59 PM US Central Time April 8th. Winner will be contacted April 9th.
-questions go here

Good Luck!

(via solarpowerspork)

138,833 notes

crevan-grietje:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

Oh My God

crevan-grietje:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

Oh My God

(Source: secretsbest, via birdyface)

33,864 notes

thecolourfred:

I just made this in 5 minutes :D
I got the idea from thinking of words ending in “ate” that would sound funny in a Dalek’s voice. I thought of “procrastinate”, and then I thought of Tumblr :P


This is too awesome!

thecolourfred:

I just made this in 5 minutes :D

I got the idea from thinking of words ending in “ate” that would sound funny in a Dalek’s voice. I thought of “procrastinate”, and then I thought of Tumblr :P

This is too awesome!

92 notes

thefluffingtonpost:

Cat Bartender Will Listen to All Your Problems
A cat, ironically working at The Scurvy Dog, a bar in downtown Owensboro, KY has made quite an impression on locals.  ”Margaritte?  Oh she’s a great listener.  She’ll hear all your problems, never a meow,” said one regular, who wished to remain anonymous. “She’s a real throw-back.  The way bartenders used to be, you know?  Now, if only someone could teach her to mix drinks…”
Via Darwin Bell.

thefluffingtonpost:

Cat Bartender Will Listen to All Your Problems

A cat, ironically working at The Scurvy Dog, a bar in downtown Owensboro, KY has made quite an impression on locals.  ”Margaritte?  Oh she’s a great listener.  She’ll hear all your problems, never a meow,” said one regular, who wished to remain anonymous. “She’s a real throw-back.  The way bartenders used to be, you know?  Now, if only someone could teach her to mix drinks…”

Via Darwin Bell.